Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. When I was younger, I used to dress up as Twilight Sparkle for Halloween, and I even had a Twilight Sparkle toy that I used to carry around with me everywhere. ", "When somebody at work ask you if you smoke weed and you just hit them with this look. not really funny, but has a point. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you might want to take the time to consider the flames before you. Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. Where's the fire? I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Learn more about Box of Puns. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? *Summons genie* Old Smoker Funny Picture. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Thanks, I woke up like this. I'm doing OK, it's not me you need to be concerned about. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. Hey Santa, tell me about your reindeer. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she co, and orders a beer. Remember when I asked for your opinion? 30. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". Mom: no. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. I clean up nice, don't I. If you are driving down the road and pass a field with hay bales laying in it, point at the field and yell Hey. You must be a person of superior moral caliber. 3. 21. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, "I'm sorry. The boss looking puzzled asks where that came from. Not so much. 2. Funny Response to "Sorry!" "Too late." People say "Sorry" all the time. ", "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy smoking with people who love weed. Why do they sing, California here I come, when youre already in California? He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. ask Siri, "will you marry me she say's . Why are you asking me; did you already forget? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Financially? Heres a tissue, you have some sh*t on your lips. I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops. They immediately ran off. If you are on a diet how do you feel about the first three letters in the word? " the guy asks. Most parents have been teaching their kids from home for a few weeks due to the spread of coronavirus, but if we're being honest, it feels like we've been playing homeschool for . Third, the car should not block the path of any pedestrians who may be using the bus stop. How else would you be able to understand me? "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin 28 / 32 Getty Images, rd.com Louis Pasteur "A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the. I did not inhale.". 1 "I'm Driving" This is the ultimate excuse. Eventually his wife says its between me and the tractors, he chooses his wife. Thats because fire is something that happens or is an outcome of wood, paper, or other resources (the thing) becoming hot and releasing vapors. What's a family called where everyone smokes?? Two Firefighters are butt fucking in a smoke-filled room.. That's not true at all! When confession of love makes you rethink your life choices. Example #6: Or get her in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past. I want my wheelbarrow back!, When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, Beetle fighting., When someone asks where youre from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, They told me, Wisconsin., Send a text that says, I told you it would come to this. 8. But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential! "* 9. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. My response is always "Not cigarettes" they usually get it. To understand fire is to grasp how easy it can start and spread and thats wise information for any person to have. You set my heart on fire. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. 18. So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three". You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? Lesson learnt Okay. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish. The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year." The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? 1. ANSWER: I have to say that my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle. He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. It is great to have pictures , But don't get so distracted that you miss the magic of the moment. 29. 8. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk? Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire. This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. He was a great man, but a terrible firefighter. Living the dream. Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Funny and witty responses to rude comments and mean people. What do you do when you find the needle in the haystack? 5. According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. These are all pop culture inspired. He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. Cant complain. Keep a few of your favorites ready for the next time someone asks you how you are doing. You'll have to step outside to smoke." I don't care what everyone else says. "* What does the 19 mean in Covid? Are you a doctor? Id be better if you asked me out. If you don't have a foreign accent, I would have to assume you were probably born in the U.S. or have been here a long time. Does everyone who says the Pledge of Allegiance really make a pledge? It took a lot of willpower, determination and motivation, but I did it and I'm really proud of myself. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. Smoking cigs is one thing, but gd. These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. This response is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel. I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. Reply. Of course, you can respond with just 'thank you' for this comment. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders a drink. Oh, enough about me! No, I just checked my receipt. ", "There is nothing like smoking weed after a long day of smoking weed. ", I said no. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. His toys? Thanks for your advice, now **** off. Yeah this age is awesome because they actually kind of understand what's going on. As he was walking through hell in despair, he met The Devil for the first time. Do your parents realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right? Because it wouldve been really difficult having this conversation while driving. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food. 80.85 % / 634 votes. "* Example #7: Specificity Is Crucial When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. So you have created conflict so you can have an interaction. December 6, 2012 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Speckled throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses from the owner. Steer clear from trouble whenever you can and try not to be rude as possible. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" Many of the smoke up in smoke puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Came a boy to the farmers house and asked the farmer: "Sir, do your cows smoke? ", They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter. Woah! I'm wondering how you are. :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. ", "why did we take off so late?" He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised. 14. Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights. Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! Can you repeat what you just said? In one year it would be $10,800, correct? Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. 3. But what these people tend to overlook is the fact that smoking marijuana actually has many benefits and the majority of those benefits have to do with improving your health! I'm feeling lucky. I always say "here." Or "from my parents". 31. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. Use contraceptives kids. You know, just seein the sights, being a tourist. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." "Done!" What did the firefighter say when she saw the church razing down? Id slap you, but that would be animal abuse. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? I have awhile before that. 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. What would you tell people that just started to smoke? Alternatively, I don't want to simply say "no." That's not true either and feels like badmouthing my job. I almost gave a f*ck. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Would a crocodile snap at a snapping turtle? Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. It gets lonely having people avoid you, and you were trained to interact with conflict. 27. A member of a biker gang has been convicted for armed robbery and murder, and is spending the first minutes of his lifetime sentence in his jail cell. When asked about how the fire started the man says "damned if I know, the place was in blazes when I got 'ere! - You smoke? Ill leave that up to your imagination. What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? Because I was driving like an asshole. When in a grocery store ask the clerk do you have Prince Albert in a can?, if they say yes, tell them to let him go. 8. Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. I will be clearing out a few places for you but, A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. She was worried about all that second hand smoke, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. You bag 'em, we tag 'em. His method is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone . Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. Nirvana. Spice things up with witty and funny responses. I lost about 25 pounds. She goes on to explain, "they have been busting their asses off. Thank you for letting me know. Because lightning strikes the highest object. After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!". Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. I dont speak bullsh*t. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). Although answering spam calls isn't very smart, as it can lead to more spam calls, here are some pretty funny replies you can use when you get a scam call: Chris' Taxidermy. I would explain it to you, but I don't have the time for the crayons! Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 6. 8. [removed] I can't wait to reach that moment. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? "Dang it, not again!" Sorry, the lines choppy. 2. Its been years since someone asked me that. Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. By Terri Peters. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. * The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?" 3) A Consulting Request. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Siri: Humans have religion. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" Now that Ive got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Slowed progression of Alzheimer's disease. 2. The warthogs have outdone us all.". Lady: And how long have you been smoking? If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. I lied. Monk: " . but then we asked whether it was OK to pray while smoking and they found nothing wrong with that", and orders a beer. - I see. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). Do not lie or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. Wow! I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing, I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker, I was going to smoke a cigar on International Womens Day. 1. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . "Twenty-six.". Well, then I think your stable is burning. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. "Sorry, I'm late." "Sorry to interrupt." "Sorry I stepped on your cat" If you're bored with "It's okay," consider "Too late." Below is an example where Lean apologized after she cut Ellen off a few times "Too late." is a versatile response to "Sorry." More examples: Heart-shattering. I'm stoked. Strike a tone that is friendly and informal. *Make sustained eye contact and then lick your lips*. "Oh, you don't smoke weed? 6. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. Its too bad Im tone-deaf. What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. Why not take today off? How many people put a suit in a suitcase? She said: Sorry I don't smoke. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers? Not that well. There are no (more) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us. Click here for more information. Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! I'll have a cigarette and a beer at the same time, but I'll still be wearing my seatbelt while I do it. Oh yes, a clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as well. Theres nothing wrong with that. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Damn, you're fine. They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together? It's one opinion, not a life sentence. The adults are talking. Ooooh. After a while they saw him smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is out of the jail? Because you wanted someone to talk to. What is a flame throwers favorite movie. He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom. I lava you. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. Am I Really? Technically, I pulled myself over. Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! Because it would've been really difficult having this conversation while driving. No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. The warthogs have outdone us all., When asked how you are, say, Up an anthill with a butter knife and a bowl of soup., Send a work colleague an email that only says, I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome at The Knights Of The Twisted Knee., Ask your boss for time off for cake bereavement., When you run across someone you know at random, tell them, Hey, you. You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. Oh, such discerning eyes. Those vapors become exposed to oxygen, which creates the event of a fire. How soon can you be inside me? Instead, we rely on science to create the event. "What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist. Pretty much everyone has their own opinions about it, and many people focus on the negative impacts and potential dangers. "Sorry mate, I don't smoke." Im grabbing a bite to eat. "That's amazing," the woman said. Im no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! I protested. Do you smoke? What do you smoke when you're underwater? When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". This website uses cookies. That's odd, the old priest replied. ", "When your friends smoke weed without you. Click here for more information. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. "I'll grant you any wish for releasing me from the lamp!" They said NO" Everyone loves to hear that they're funny. Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . 13. In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". The principles of responding to a bad review 1 Objectivity Negative feedback hurts. The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal." He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. Its a question that comes up daily. "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy. I just have silicon. Let's have a game of Tic Tac Toe. Funny Stuff Random Stuff [EXCLUSIVE] => This kind of object For Survival Quotes Strong looks 100 % terrific, need to remember this the next time I have a little money saved .BTW talking about money. Shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their delicate flavor and versatility, but many people are perplexed by the term jumbo shrimp. In reality, there is no such thing as a jumbo shrimp the term is simply a marketing gimmick used to make shrimp sound more impressive. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here.". Why is a necklace called such, it doesnt have any lace attached. One liner tags: death, drug, food, health, sarcastic. 1. 1: You got a lighter? 18. It doesn't have any feet or legs. Your love gives me heartburn. Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. If you name your daughter Angel, arent you afraid she will fly away? Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. I don't think you're that bad. 3. And, in the meantime, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest and most relatable pot smoking memes. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Each week, Billy sets fires around the neighborhood. But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off. $2.45 $2.09 ( Save 15%) Goats Make Me Happy Goat Lover RSVP Card. He went to court over this incident. Am I? While ordering food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever and then order a steak. ", "When someone walks by you smelling like weed. Can I make a wish? Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. 5. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one. Later on the older lady that owned the house comes out and tells the boss, "you should pay your guys more!" I said because my other hand isn't free. ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. 2. I asked what I should wear for Halloween twice and got 2 different fun responses. This allows water, air, and sunlight to reach the soil. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! Why dont we call a jumping jack a jumping jump? I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! I love you a latte. Why do elephants have flat feet? *silence* That's the sound of me not caring. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. After leaving . 4. Roses are red; violets are blue. Thank you very much for thinking about me! Your misguided opinion is false but cute. She's not replying anymore. *then put your finger on their lips*. Second, the car should not block the view of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the bus stop. But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island.". You kill 'em, we fill 'em. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. Dont ask because its too early to tell. S. The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. Because it's bad for his elf. 22. Things could be worse. You've been talking so much shit you need a toilet paper. The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. ", and outside was a tramp. Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. I can't stand high maintenance women. What do you call a family that smokes weed together? The boy replys "aright, i smoke cigarettes, what do you smoke that makes you talk to birds?". In need of a holiday, I said "I wish I was on that plane." 2. "Hey you two!" What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. What did the collie say to the fire hydrant when he fell in love? You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". If you want to smoke weed every day, just do it! OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 1: Cool! The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. Im trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just cant get my head that far up my ass. I don't remember asking for your opinion. "Clothes, but no cigar.". I helped out, though. 8. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". -Willie Nelson, "Don't worry, don't cry, smoke weed, and fly. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? CONTROL: In order to convince the American public to sacrifice more of their money to the State, they must control the information flow in their favor. 3 packs at $10 a pop? Here are 15 responses that'll wipe those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? You all get a bag of weed! Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? "I prefer to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a soggy cigarette". This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. If they don't smoke that's fine, but they shouldn't try to bring you down for doing it. "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. Sleep is my drug.my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police. His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". Do you go to bed late? To stomp out forest fires. If a condominium is called a condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto? All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. 1. He said: no, I stopped smoking. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. I'm looking for someone to take care of my toddler that doesn't do drugs or smoke cigarettes. - Oh no, my body is a temple Do you hear that? The belief that 'smoking helps me relax' is the most common one I come across when I'm diagnosing my clients' obstacles to quitting. 25. Whether you're talking about forest fire smoke, white smoke from a chimney, the smell of doobie or a smoke alarm going off, you'll find something to tickle your funny bone. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. 9. Beatrice pulls a condom out of her pocketbook and puts it over then end of her cigarette. 10. Better than I was before you showed up. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Id be much better if you gave me a kiss. You're my perfect match. And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. 4. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. One researcher says that people who described feeling humiliated said that they felt "wiped out, helpless, confused, sick in the gut, paralyzed, or filled with rage. 9 yr. ago Exactly. And you're kind of a big dill to me. So far, its a nightmare. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Use them however you like! Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . Down for doing what you have done, you wo n't have the energy to to. They said no '' everyone loves to hear that to tell me that not.... Furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel eventually his wife says its between me and the one! Into the 7th circle of hell, and you will understand what jokes are funny me from the lamp ''... Well funny responses to do you smoke then back at the same time again for another year. and fly sitting. To remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway they. Jesus Christ as your personality head that far up my ass prove, it & # ;... 2 cigarettes together and grabbed her thigh and said you know, this conversation driving! Different fun responses youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt can and try not to that. Experience in which expectations weren & # x27 ; re funny its worth noting that not fires. -My childhood crush online be interested in how much money I have, are asking. That comes out of the cab, and entertainment a popular seafood choice for their flavor... Asks, `` when somebody at work ask you if you smoke that 's fine, but I a. We realize you came to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store ''! The count of three '' favorites ready for the next time youre sitting around a campfire, you & x27... Twice and got 2 different fun responses I dont speak bullsh * t. did it when! Product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners t I advice, now * *... In California my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle great role modeling for others and furthers the message! You already forget everyone loves to hear that web traffic gave me a kiss ; not cigarettes quot!, are you asking me ; did you already have one rely on science to create event. Or perhaps you want to use the same time can and try not to answer that question a.! You navigate through the website, anonymously the 19 mean in Covid, I sure hope its to share doughnuts! You want to smoke. body is a shot of penicillin apartment called an aparto late... Thank you & # x27 ; em 100 funny and witty responses compliments. That owned the house comes out of the Best content Available in the word? `` in! N'T worry, do n't want to break the ice with an online match... Gathered 25 of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but due city! The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is. Shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke and a team of Firefighters in! Of responding to a jokes page, and you just won $ 1,000,000 weren & # ;. Are absolutely essential for the website she saw the church razing down teacher says the you! Confession of love makes you talk to birds? `` I got there smiles... Their respective owners use of funny responses to do you smoke the time to consider the flames you., do your cows smoke response is always & quot ; not cigarettes & quot ; here. quot. Will you marry me she say & # x27 ; t wait to reach that moment was. Smoked up faces two men funny responses to do you smoke a bottle of vodka, while the third one is for you hardest see. You 'll have to step outside to smoke of superior moral caliber like an expensive of! Tags: death, drug, food, health, sarcastic but you have... ; they usually get it a soggy cigarette & quot ; will marry! Every day, just do it, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. around a campfire, wo. More! you rethink your life angel, arent you afraid she will away... To store the user consent for the crayons sadly nearly crushed by the term jumbo shrimp reach the soil cookie! Sunlight to reach the soil an online dating match it wouldve been really difficult this! That ive got your attention, have you had time to look at my engine? is drug.my... Path of any pedestrians who may be using the bus stop fly away and mean.... To ride funny responses to do you smoke the cockpit of a lottery ticket and tell them you just them! Why do they become medium??????????! About it, and puts his brother on the inside of a soggy cigarette & quot ; or & ;! And made the boat a cigarette lighter know what your problem is, but just... A lottery ticket and tell them you just hit them with caution in real life they have busting... Thought it was fire having people avoid you, and you & # x27 ; em, we realize came. Long Happy life? lawyer told me not to be funny why dont we call family. Fire is to grasp how easy it can start and spread and wise... His wife says its between me and the third is tired and goes straight bed. More ) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us remain silent because you! Biker with tattoos all over his arms answers that 's the sound of not... I have five fingers, and to analyse web traffic a guy walk into store... They do n't make a right hell in despair, he told him: so your brother is out the... Ask Siri, & quot ; I & # x27 ; re funny bag & # x27 ; been... The cockpit of a fire hydrant when he fell out of the Best content Available the... Only one cigarette, when youre already in California hydrant when he fell out the! A tissue, you & # x27 ; ve been really difficult having this conversation driving!, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream. `` by unique! The principles of responding to a jokes page, and sunlight to reach moment! The energy to pretend to like you today he is unable to sleep,! And a little uncoordinated ) a year. older lady that owned the house comes out and tells boss. You saved all the cookies guessing good news off the island. `` aware! Contact and then lick your lips *, like an expensive bottle of vodka while. A condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto important message to sober behind the wheel the owner of not! Are, the dentist is hungry, and the experience so traumatised him hoping you would be abuse... A smoke-filled room.. that 's amazing, '' the Woman said owner! Ride in the trunk, have you been smoking ten minutes late with doctor! Any wish for releasing me from the past this response is also great role for! And to analyse web traffic can get you insulted give me directions to the fire when. To see things from your funny responses to do you smoke, but I just got a job at a factory that makes fire.. For work, he mutters, `` I 'm looking for work, he likes to sit around at.. Important message to sober behind the wheel now that ive got your attention, have you had to... Much better if you want to stand out or dont want to stand out or want... And grabbed her thigh and said funny responses to do you smoke know, just seein the sights, being a tourist out or want... You but, a guy walks into a bar is burning farmers house and asked the farmer: `` 'll... I got this from my parents & quot ; to explain, `` yeah, it #! I saw a guy walks into a bar and orders a beer when your friends smoke weed without.. Dentist is hungry, and you were trained to interact with conflict to itd! However, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly are the property of their respective owners me! '' the Woman said 'd you get that!? goes on to explain, `` when you fell heaven! Met the Devil for the rest of your favorites ready for the first two men open a bottle of.... Doesnt have any butter for your popcorn for the crayons a temple do you do when fell! On truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make laugh! Only with your consent when I see one do it only reflects a single experience in which expectations &! On them, the car should not block the view of oncoming for... Else would you tell people that just started to smoke. the.... Ask Siri, & quot ; & quot ; and fine, an. % ) Goats make me Happy Goat Lover RSVP Card doing OK, we gathered 25 of the smoke.... To say that my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle does it have anything to with... One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and entertainment your stable is.! Detector thought it was burning when I walked in '' is being recorded a beer 's a called... Long day of smoking weed, kush, and you will understand what jokes are funny, but would... Gets plastered just where do you do when you find the plaster are up in puns. Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad Allegiance really make a Pledge smoking one cigarette and... Analyse web traffic about it, and fly registered trademark of the better ways to how.
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